Sloan once sang, “It’s not the music. It’s their fans.”

When it comes to seeing live music — a subject close to my heart — the lyrics change to “It’s not the music. It’s the venue.”

After another concert at the Molson Amphitheatre (909 Lakeshore Boulevard West) this year, I’ve walked away with mixed feelings… once again.

When you work with an outdoor venue as large as this, annoyances that may be minor in smaller clubs are amplified here: distance, annoying fans, sightlines, sound quality, weather, and ridiculous concession prices.

Depending on the band, some of these qualities are amplified to the extent of making my head spin.

The weather, distance, fans, and sightlines? Okay, that’s fair game. I can’t fault the venue for that. Besides, it pretty much only affects those in the lawn seats, and you, my cheapskate, you get what you pay for.

But the sound quality — a music fan’s number one point of discussion — is rocky at best. Even within a single concert, it seems to suffer from bipolar disorder, leaving Def Leppard sounding like Def Leppard in one stroke and Chris Cornell in another.

And considering the ridiculous security checks, Pearson-esque patdowns, and inability to bring in bottles of water into the venue, you’re left paying the inflated prices of the concession stands.

$4 water? $4 packets of Lay’s chips? On matter of principle, I do without, but end up dehydrated and whining the entire evening.

Having said all this, the venue can be a beautiful way to spend an evening on a good summery night. I do like zoning out on the lawns, and tickets CAN be cheap for big-summer draws.

If your intent is to just hang out with friends, fine, fine. But if you’re going to yap all evening, I suggest just staying in your own backyard with a stereo.

Ceili’s Cottage (1301 Queen Street East) is a newbie in the Leslieville block, an attractive East-End cottage — yes, really! — with a bit of growing up to do.

It’s a cute place, and definitely shows signs of bustle and community. The bar area is quite active, and is a great gathering spot for an after-work crowd.

Unfortunately, if you’re there for food, I’ll have you know that only two in our group of 10 actually enjoyed their meal. That doesn’t make for very decent odds.

(Note: the macaroni and cheese ain’t all as exciting as its description, but the oysters are.)

It also didn’t help that, despite there being vacant chairs close to the patio, our group was not able to sit together, due to liquor licences and “maximum patio seating”. A bit unfortunate, which left two of us seated at the bar for 45 minutes waiting to join the rest of the crew.

Of course, this all happened in Ceili’s first couple of weeks, so there’s room to iron the kinks out and improve for the future. And considering the owners of the successful Starfish Oyster Bed and Grill are behind this venture, I have faith that things will improve down the line.

Leslievillers are a community-driven bunch, after all, and after a few more weeks and experience serving the patio culture, I’m certain the staff will find its groove.

I just hope in that time, the food will improve, too.

Some might say it’s a little counterproductive during a recession to blow a bunch of money on groceries, but I think if there’s anything that will get us through this financial crisis, it’s holding on to some of those little luxuries in life.

And if you’re going to do that anywhere, it’s Pusateri’s in Yorkville.

This place is small, but it boasts a huge selection of foods you wouldn’t find at your average grocery store. It has a wide selection of cheeses, breads, super fresh produce, rare, exotic fruits and veggies as well as impressive meat and seafood counters. They also have a fantastic selection of premade food, like sandwiches, salads, sushi, and hot meals. Their desserts are also to die for and shouldn’t be missed

But one of the things that really sets Pusateri’s apart is the service. They have people working the floor all the time, handing out samples and alerting you to the fresh baguettes that have just been put out. They can tell you which is the best kind of vintage balsamic or how to perfectly cook your triple A angus steak.

I used to be scared to buy expensive food because I assumed I would ruin it. But the people that work here know their stuff and are always happy to share their knowledge with you.

Your wallet might be a little lighter when you leave here, but your stomach will be full of delicious, homemade gourmet food.

Vanessa

In my entire café-going existence, I have never seen staff clean tables so quickly.

Now, of all the things I choose to bring up with Dark Horse Espresso Bar (215 Spadina Avenue), I can’t believe I’m talking about table-cleaning.

But really, this ain’t a tangent.

Think about it: if they’re so conscientious and hyper-sensitive on this level, it likely works its way through every part of the business. There’s pride in what they do, and it definitely shows.

And by gad, this place is immaculate… maybe even moreso than its older sibling, the popular Dark Horse in Leslieville. It helps that this location is huge, bright, airy, and feels like your lawyer friend’s upscale loft apartment.

In fact, whenever I’m working away on my laptop there, I feel like a hoity-toity freelancer working for some serious design firm.

Like Oddfellows, it has large communal tables and feels like you’re just hanging out for breakfast with family. And despite sitting with strangers, the set-up makes it easy to look up at someone across the table, shed your inhibitions, make some glib comment about the weather, and (GASP) not be judged for it.

So beyond the treats and drinks, which are absolutely solid and addictive, I really give kudos to Dark Horse for creating something everyone can be proud of, which includes a really cool, sparkling atmosphere conducive to socializing and getting work done at the same time.

Though it’s not as stay-in busy as its Leslieville counterpart thus far, it still attracts a steady rotation of faithful customers, including me… who is quickly becoming a rabid #1 fan.

The results are in!

Ranked by number of page views, the following is a list of the top 10 Toronto service reviews for the month ended October 27.

Some recurring trends in this month’s top 10: meat, leather, and coats…

1)  Lorne’s Coats - Vanessa Green

2)  Copacabana Brazilian Steakhouse – Vanessa Green

3) Northbound Leather - Frances Avalon

4)  Ronnie’s Local 069 – Frances Avalon

5)  Black’s Photography (on Bay) – Connie Tsang

6)  Chez Cora – Connie Tsang

7)  The Brant House - Frances Avalon

8)  Hoops Sports Bar and Grill (Yonge) – Connie Tsang

9)  Wanda’s Pie in the Sky – Connie Tsang

10) Aveda Institute - Connie Tsang

Thank you to everyone for making the last 60 days so much fun (including our team of superstar writers).

And, if you’d like to contribute alongside our team and throw your Toronto service review into the ring, just drop us a line!

darren

The Dance Cave
529 Bloor St. West
416.532.1598

I’m pretty sure The Dance Cave has been around since before dirt. It’s situated above famed live-music venue, Lee’s Palace, and it’s about the same footage and layout-a big square, but without a stage for bands.
It’s got that late-80s boho Queen St. vibe that the Bamboo had and the Horseshoe has in spades. The walls are even decorated in a Keith Herring rip-off paint job of black squiggles that go nowhere.

Pros: Fridays and Saturdays have had a line up four deep and a block long for over a decade. It’s only $5 and they play great music that doesn’t follow the trends like: Blur, The Beatles, Yeah Yeah Yeahs and other great full-songs.

Cons: The bartenders couldn’t find friendly with a map and a dictionary. They serve drinks in tiny plastic cups and everyone is perpetually in first year university.

But, it’s a Toronto landmark in night life and one of the best cheap, messy nights pound for pound in the city.

Little Italy is absolutely bursting with bars and clubs and somewhere in the middle, you’ll find Midtown (522 College). This is a crowd favourite for the university crowd and late twenty somethings and the place is always bumping. You’ll have a rough time getting to the bar and dance floor area of Midtown as this place is constantly ram-packed with drunken revelers.

Once you do get through the crowd of people, you will most definitely be waiting again at the bar. There aren’t nearly as many bartenders required to serve the mass of people, but what else is new in Toronto? Midtown is not a place where you’ll get a quiet table near the window a wine list full of vintage Chiantis.

But what you will get is great atmosphere, a spacious dance floor and some sweet, sweet DJs pumping out some great jams.  I would note that the bathrooms here are tiny and few in number. They’re also located in the basement and usually come with a huge lineup. So keep that in mind while you’re downing Jagerbombs. The Midtown is certainly a good party, but it’s crazy, overcrowded, loud, hot and sweaty. If you’re willing to wait 10 minutes for a drink (and the can) Midtown surely won’t disappoint.

294 College Street
2nd Floor
416.832.3933

In the 90s there was an illegal after hours above the paint store on the corner of College and Spadina. I only mention it because every time I go to Studio Gallery (also on the second floor on College, but a few door down) I think of that space.

It’s an alternative gallery that caters to the hipster Cive-Guide-to-cool set. The layout is basic: up a flight of stairs and down a long hallways there are two square 500 sq. ft or so rooms that are used as gallery spaces. On occasion they use the back fire escape as the entrance for smaller, one-room shows and the front one for bigger, two-room ones.

As a gallery, I’m not sure if it works well; as in there isn’t much foot traffic and I’m not even sure they generate that art buzz, but the opening parties are always good. In the past, they’ve done shows with: SoMe (Ed Banger), Nick Zinner (Yeah Yeah Yeahs) and Michel Gondry among many more. I’ve been to most of them and I can’t really complain about any. Most people come for the free beer and the cool factor which sorta blows, cause a lot of the time the art is really good and it gets almost overlooked. At least more than usual galleries.

Service wise, what can I say Avery and Vanessa who run it are mad cool. Cool to the death in fact. Hospitable and innovative and in with all the in crowd.

The skins on Flo’s Diner are these: it was

a gorgeous 50s diner in the heart of Yorkville on a corner lot. It WAS where that stupid condo that’s also the Roots is now and the corner was on a parking lot which is now that park fail.

Flo’s had to move to the second floor of what I can only describe as a micro-mall on Yorkville Ave. I used to go with my mom every weekend for brunch and old-style 50s fare like root beer floats and red vinyl covered swivel chairs. It was the real deal alright. But alas, those days are long gone.

I boycotted the new down-sized location for at least a year before I straight got over myself. Yorkville might be a sell-out tramp of a neighborhood, but Flo’s hasn’t changed a bit. They kept as much of the original place as they could cram into the significantly smaller local, and the patio, although not rooftop, is still large and gets just as much of the day’s sun as the old one. And, here’s the best part: almost all the original waiters are still there. It’s also still pretty much rammed to the tits every Saturday and Sunday for brunch, sometimes taking up to 40 minutes to get a table (I blame the kids, it’s always their fault).

The menu is identical to what it was when I was a kid. They serve all the regular comfort food fare: all day breakfast, multiple types of grilled cheese, some healthy choices like salads and egg white omelets but also burgers and club sandwiches and of course, root beer floats.

The service is damn fast and they remember you. They remember everyone. I take soy milk with my coffee and they remember that even if months go by between visits. Careful with the modifications though, they will charge you up the butt for every minor change until you’re eating a $15 omelet, but if you stick to the menu it’s pretty affordable, especially for Yorkville.

On a side note, the head waiter looks just like the Asian guy from 21 Jump Street and when I was a kid I was convinced it was him.

Good place to take a one-night stand the morning after when you’re trying to be nice about it, but also a great spot to just read the weekend Globe & Mail (they have all the papers for patrons to peruse) by yourself and drink dozens of tiny cups of coffee on your own.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve been lusting after the olden days hard lately.

And Watusi’s got that sensibility on lock.

From the shared meals, which further encourage throwbacks like conversation to the cute way all the wait staff dress like 60s stewardesses, Watsusi’s totally Mad Men fun.

With cocktail names like: Skinny Bitch, Slow Screw Comfortably and throwbacks like, Harvey Wallbangers, it’s fun down to the last detail.

It’s a restaurant and a cocktail bar. Kinda on the small side, but all the better to rub up against strangers over martini’s daddy-o.

So what’s the service like?

Timely, and served with a smile and a flip of the hair.

Definitely a neighborhood spot in waiting. You should check it out, it’s a great excuse to dress up with the girls.

Marben is a bit of a glitch as far as restaurants and bars inthe King St West neighborhood go.

You’d think it was stuck up cause it’s on Wellington and it’s really damn nice inside, not to mention the food is super high end.

But no dice, it’s actually mad cool.

Wellington is one of those secret streets that all the design and media geeks who are suits in Chuck Taylor’s and fixed gear’s know about, but manage to keep the King St. douchers out, so in a way, it’s the perfect location.

The layout is really nice. There’s a fully licensed but not too huge patio out front. Inside, there’s a long bar against one wall that’s great for hanging out and having a pint. The restaurant opens up with seating in the back and there’s a semi-private smaller restaurant-style room downstairs.

In terms of decor, it’s got that high end pub feel that works for the 25 and up set. The food is absolutely delicious and they regularly have menu deals for lunch and bday parties.

Servers are really nice and know a lot about the food and are great to recommend dishes. It’s also a really nice date spot for dinner that gets mad lively on the weekends.

Geeks everywhere search far and wide for a reliable, competent retailer of eyeglasses to keep their vision clear and their faces looking fresh.

Now, I’ve been wearing glasses since I was three (I was a wee nerd) and I know it’s hard to find a place that has:

a)    Good selection
b)    Good service
c)    Good guarantee on their products

Well, you can stop searching fellow four-eyes, because Crown Opticians (758 Yonge. St)  has all you need to get your specs on. 

When I went in my first time, a young, friendly sales woman greeted me. She asked what I was looking for, and when I told her thick, dark non-black frames, she picked out a selection. Then, and this was the coolest part, you try on your glasses in front of a 360 degree machine and it takes pictures from various angles. Then you can compare different frames and the different angles.

It was/is an ingenious (and practical) aspect to purchasing glasses and I appreciated it a lot.

The young woman who helped me was very helpful, giving her opinion on which frames look best (a rarity in retail I find) and I went up to the cash to pay, they even offered me a discount on the cost (I have a really rare prescription and when you add the scratch-proof coating, thin lenses, etc. it can really add up).

The one thing that really blew me away with Crown was the follow up service.

Two weeks ago I went in because my glasses were really scratched – more scratched than any pair of glasses I’ve ever owned. When I came in to get them fixed, the same young woman told me that the damage should be covered under my warranty, but that it had expired. Lucky for me, the next day they called me told me that the lenses had been repaired at no cost.

So if you’re looking a new sick pair of glasses and great service,  Crown Opticians is the place to go.