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If anyone needs tips for a successful Vietnamese take-away joint, I’d offer Banh Mi Che Cali as a capable teacher.

You know that wise old high school instructor — flustered, impatient, and perpetually in need of vodka shots? He perspired, never looked pleased. But he was thorough, organized, and to-the-point.

You learned.

And the stuff he produced was good.

Damn good.

Banh Mi and Che Cali is kinda like that teacher.

It’s not a classy joint, by ANY means. At its core, it’s a hole-in-the-wall Vietnamese cafeteria in Chinatown with home-cookin’ Vietnamese chow comparable to that in the late night markets of Hanoi.

Within a few steps of the entrance, you have access to a buffet of Vietnamese desserts and puddings to your left, cream puffs and inexpensive banh mi to your right, and a great line-up of Vietnamese combo dishes (like Darren pointed out in Vancouver) at the back, going for as low as $3.99.

Food wise, this place is certainly heaven. It’s cheap, simple, and tastes like it was crafted by the hands of my mother’s Vietnamese counterpart.

Having said that, with this home-cooked version of food heaven, you have to accept the occasional impatience of the staff, who are just there to deliver your food — fast. On more than one occasion, I’ve seen their “Just spit it out and stop wasting my time” expression.

In fact, on one of these visits, I casually asked about some items, and before I’d finished my third question, I had three containers of liquid custard dessert shoved in my direction without even knowing I’d ordered anything. (I took them anyway. Good thing they were tasty.)

Don’t fear, though. The pressure is worth it. I merely suggest you stop asking questions and just eat.

These ladies certainly have better things to do.