720 Queen St. West, 416.504.2266
It’s a chain. There’s several of them n the city, but the Queen St. location is the first and main one.
There is a lineup at Terroni every single night. This is where aging hipsters take their kids for Italian hipster dinner, even though it’s totally not an appropriate environment for kids. A lot of indie-rock musicians eat there too. And for the life of me, I’ve never been able to figure out why.
Layout: The layout is cramped like a lot of popular places in Toronto. Maximizing hype means minimizing comfort so they can turn over more tables in less time. This is pretty common around town, so I’m not gonna hold Terroni solely responsible for it, but it’s worth noting.
Food: Reasonably priced for traditional Italian eating. They have a whole science behind their recipes. They stick to the recipe, no matter what you say. It’s not like the States where you can have religious, ethical or dietary needs (all three translate into a law suit if the kitchen doesn’t at least TRY to modify for you) and ask for say, dairy removed from your dish. Terroni claims they cook with fresh fish only, make their pastas fresh on site every day and serve only real Coke, no diet here.
All of this said said, it’s the meanest service in the city, and they’re proud of it.
This dedication to “quality” is the excuse they use to speak rudely to customers at every meal. Instead of informing you that they don’t actually have Diet Coke (Shanghai Cowgirl doesn’t either but they don’t hurl it at you like an insult) they scoff at your request and answer that they don’t “believe” in Diet Coke. And…if you want balsamic in your olive oil for dipping bread, they practically spit in your face about it. Not even an attempt at manners.
Still, I have friends that LOVE it there. Why? Cause hipsters have no brains of their own to think with, their the biggest sheep out there. That’s the ONLY reason I can think of why anyone I know could possibly tolerate the place.
Even when you’re not asking for something (don’t ask for ANYTHING except what’s on the menu if you ever eat in this hole) you’re being treated like you’re taking up time and space that could better be used on anything but you and your silly requests for food in a restaurant of all places.
So I don’t eat meat and I can’t eat milk and I prefer not to eat pasta or bread. Knowing these things about my diet, I generally avoid Italian eateries anyway, cause that’s all they ever have. And frankly, those are the things that Italians cook well, and when you can’t enjoy them, it sucks the big one.
Having said that, please don’t think I’m a picky eater, I carry around these restrictions with me everywhere, so I am well aware that I have to bend to fit the norm, not the other way.
There are two dishes I can have at Terroni and both of them are not worth a second go:
- First, the tuna salad. Let’s call a spade a spade here and say what it really is: a Nicoise without the eggs and beans. Way too much oil, and it’s canned tuna they use. CANNED! Where’s my fresh pan-seared? Nowhere. It’s also like $15 when it’s all said and done and I make it ten times better at home for somewhere in the vicinity of $1 with tax and tip.
- The second dish is the seafood spaghetti. It’s supposed to be made fresh with clams, shrimp, scallops, calamari and mussels. Beyond the fact that there is definitely milk in there somewhere, my gastric system never lies about this fact, and it’s light on everything including taste, I’ve got two words to sum up this meal for you that will have you running from it on the menu fore ever: Sandy. Clams. Nobody wants to eat an unwashed clam! That’s a rule for life, take it with you where ever you go.
For the Cole’s Notes version, jut read this: no taste, no class, no options, no room and for christ’s sake, no kids.
