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Occupying the footprint at 542 Queen Street West, The Bovine Sex Club is like the CBGC’s of Toronto. I swear it’s been there since the dawn of heavy rock, and for the most part, they haven’t changed a thing.

It’s cramped, and narrow, and focused around the bar. The staff are interchangeable with the patrons in terms of looks, and it seems like everyone is a regular.

But don’t judge this spot by rough-looking biker crowd. The bartenders are queens of multi-tasking. They frequently hold conversations with friends sitting at the bar while taking several orders at once, and doing shots with patrons.

There’s no favoritism though. You have to wait your turn like everyone else and the bartenders have honed their no-bullshit attitudes to a sharpened point, often shooting down sleazy come ons from newbies with one swift glance.

If you want your ass-kissed, there are plenty of bells-and-whistles bars you can go to, at the Bovine the bartenders are queens, and if you treat them as such, you’ll get along just fine.